Sunday, August 9, 2009

How Fair Is This??!!

Sunday, August 9, 2009
Sometimes I really don’t understand human behaviour.. Ya3ni what are you guys thinking when you are doing these actions? Really!! You want drama or you just want to see how far you can push someone or the amount of shock and damage that you can achieve to the poor person!!

I really don’t get people.. wallah I don’t get it…

Scenario One:
My cousin died last week in a car accident (allah yer7amo) around 2 am.. At 3:30 am I get a message from his sister that he died.. (If I was in her place I don’t think I will be able to send a message).. So I go to the 3azza and I see her and I try to cheer her up.. I wasn’t close to her brother, last I saw him maybe it was 2 years or so back.. Now I see her little sister, which is around 20-23 years old.. I am not sure.. el mohim, she looks so distance and in shock and i totally understands how she feels, she out of the country and when she came back for 2 days she didn’t see her brother and next thing you know he died! I feel so sorry and I really cant imagine what she is going through.. As if that is not enough.. Look at what people did to this poor girl..

She is working in an airline night shift.. Her brother was suppose to pick her up at 7am when she finishes her work.. She gets a call at 2 or 3 am telling her that they are coming to pick her up, her brother was involved in an accident and she needs to come home.. So they pick her up and all the way they told her NOTHING!! They didn’t address the issue that her brother died already.. So she enters the house and imagine what was the first thing that she sees!! YES KAFAN A’7OOHA!!! IMAGINE!! La o el bint ma mustaw3iba.. She was like “what is this? What is happening?” ya3ni you don’t see him and in the end when you come to see him you see him like that!!

Ya jama3a.. ya nas wallah tara ma zain!! This amount of shock mal faja2 is not good.. a lot of damage happens.. Zain before you take her in the house tell her badal she goes in and see this in front of her.. I don’t blame her if she couldn’t sleep or have nightmares!! Wallah 7aram….i can’t believe they actually did that to her!!!


Scenario Two:
My friends sister.. She is 37, not married.. About 3 weeks ago she started complaining that she has pains and she cant breath and stuff.. So they take her to the hospital and of course el 7okooma ma t8a9ar in distributing pain killers for each and every disease or pain you have.. mafi ‘3air panadol, olfen and take a rest and come back in a month if it is still there.. el mohim.. I donno what happened they went back and she was getting worse and now she is mnawoma in ICU if I am not mistaken.. They said they found a tumour and she needs to be hospitalised..

Zain, all this ma8ulna shay!! Ok.. So maskeena aish 6ala3 feeha.. She has cancer.. One of her ovary is gone and its already spread in her other ovary and kidney and it already reached her thighs.. al7een ana I heard this, I called my friend and told her lets go visit her.. So my friend calls her sister and tells her we will go today Inshallah at say 4pm to visit her.. ela she tells her.. “ok but don’t put perfume coz she has problems in breathing and don’t address her illness and tell her anything coz she doesn’t know what she has and what is happening” na3am ya’7ti??? She is old enough right? I mean she can understand and handle whatever god gives her right? Yan3i el ensan yekoon fi iman right? Laish ya3ni you dont tell her??? She suspects eno fi shay coz one of her brothers entered the room and as soon as he saw her he started crying so hard!!

Ya jama3a come on!!! El mara’9 7aq tara.. She deserves to know the truth.. She is old enough to understand.. This is HER life!! You can’t do that to her!!!!

Wallah qahar how people are acting!!

18 Voices:

A Journal Entry

#1:
some times il wa7id laman e9eer shay may3arif eti9araf.. i think they didn't know what to do aw how to deliver il khabar.. bas ti9arifaw bil 6areeqa il kha6a2..

#2:
she will know eventually so why try and hide it from her?!
bil3ax i think the sooner she knows the more time she has to adjust to il marath nafseeyan before starting the treatment which is really hard 3al mareeth nafseeyan oo jesmaniyan..

Aurous

#1
3a`6am allah ajerkom...
don't forget that her family was in denial and in shock as well... sometimes it's easier to not talk, because if they did talk then they'll start crying and can't stop..

#2
trust me she knows...
they might think she doesn't, but she does... even kids can pick up on these stuff...
but I agree that what they did is wrong..
allah yshafeeha enshallah..

Namrata

geez standy, my condolences...i'm so sorry about your cousin! and what a horrible thing for the sister: it's like a nightmare, poor thing.

as for your friend's sister: don't the doctor's HAVE to tell her? I mean, it's her body, she has a legal right to be informed as to what's happening to her! and what about surgery, won's she have to know why she's being operated on, what her options are if surgery is not possible, what arrangements to make? she could actually sue them for not telling her.

Maitha*

3a'6am allah ajrkum standy..

Candy
This comment has been removed by the author.
Candy

:| :|
am shocked il9ara7a,i don't know what's the reason behind not telling the truth,they deserve to know it truth as it happened!!

nosa

3a'6am allah ajrkum first of all..

i dont like hiding anything from any1.. especilly deaths n sicknesses..
when i was studying abrod my brother was hospitalized for 2 weeks and no1 told me thought i spoke to my parents regualrly..
the ay he was discharged my frined asked me how was my brother doing.. n i was like zain laish eshfeeh? n she told me laa nothing.. bs kan eshway t3baaan !! then she told me! i went crazy 9ara7a!!
y wouldnt they tell me unless it was something veyr serious.. i remmeber i cried so much.. n it wasnt a nice thing @ at all.. i wish my parents told me when it happened n keeped me updated rather then the shock i got..

n hiding a sickness from ones self.. thats too much.. if a person dosnt learn to deal with what allah ebtalah how will he prove to be a good person n a good muslim??
i agree with what u said..
allah kareem..
each person thinks in a different way.. maybe this is how they see it right..

Another-Penelope

la 7wla wela 8uwat ella bella y3ni jma3aa shfeehom chthy 9ayreen !!! 9j im shocked and ur right she has to know the truth,allah eshafeeha ameen

Sexy LipS

am not sure as usual what to say especially in such 7alaat!!!
1st case,,,
ina llallah w ina elyh raj3oon
but Spongy i want to tell u sth... its true u get shocked of how the sister of the died person text and how they dont tell the younger sis and shock her only when she reaches home seeing the dead body!! but 7beebty b3d elshar w allah la ygool if we were in their shoes will understand what's going on- b3d elshar 3leenaa w3la ahlna true el moot 7aq!!

what i want to say is that sometime mn el9adma u dont know how u act.. some they cry some they scream some they laugh "believe it or not"!! and the worse who keep quiet!! yup Quiet not sure what to say or what to do but inside them burkaaan thaa2er!! inside them mixture of feelings not sure how to reveal it fa they keep quiet wlmushkela later they will collapse!!

fa for the sister who txted u!! well may b her family are in worse condition than her and she was asked to spread the news... may b she was in shock and wanted to text ppl who r close to her may b and may b and may b... " remember what we said last week in Woody's office!! Dont judge a book from its cover!! it suits this case here 7beebty!!

regarding the younger sis who saw her bro's body allah yr7mooo 3aad allah ykoon fe 3oonha w y9abraha!! again may b they all were in shock that they couldnt tell her... mayb and may b and may be... sometimes u act in a way that no one can actually explains why on earth is he / she doing that even the person him/herself cant explain!!

Allah y3eenhum!!!


2nd case!! wallah wat to do !! Allah ysame7 these Dr. allah ysame7 our system... and i have nothing to add ela
7asbuna Allah w n3m al wakeel...

Allah yr7mna br7mata

The Extravagate

ena lel allah wa ena elih raj3oon

iom tsm3 m9ayb elnas t'hwn 3lik m9btk

C

1) Hands up, legs up agreed with you sweetie! How could they did that to her, they should have told her before she enter! I wonder how the family could stay so calm and didn't burst out crying when they pick her up!

2) She knew! Its her body and she knew the condition more than anyone! 7aram! This kinda trust shouldn't be concealed!

Mayya @ Sew Chic and Unique

Ahsan Allah 3azakum Standy

Death usually comes as a shock and we can never imagine the pain of losing someone you love, let alone family.

Case #1 I really think that they should have informed the sister,i mean what was the point of picking her up if they were not going to tell her?!
However, when you are in a state of shock you dont act normal which is probably what happened, because we all see that they should have told her but we cant imagine what the family members must be feeling and they just did what they had to do which was brought her home.

May Allah give them strength and patience to get through this.

Case #2 i cant see why they cant tell her what is happening. She is 37 after all so who do they discuss her health issues with if not with her?
I mean if i am admitted unless i am in a coma or something (la sama7 Allah) i would speak to my doctor to find out what is WRONG with me.
Then again the family are doing what they feel is right (probably they are in shock too) but in the end as you well pointed out she has the right to know.

Allah yeshfeeha in sha Allah

Abi-Omi-Abi-Oboy

Youre so right, i agree..
Mu zaiin a9lan wallaah el9adma lekbeera can cause organ failures wallah :(

Allah ekoon eb3onhum ;'(

ZoN

wow im totally with you in that,, strange responses from the both families!
however what i know, ena il doctors are obliged to tell their patients what they have, they cant hide it on them! so that counts as the doctors mistakes too!

desertpalms

This is so sad...very bad reactions in very important moments..I guess the emotional grief took its toll on their decision to keep it secret..

Allah yr7m amwatna w yshfi jmee3 marthana ya rab..

Mean B

7asana alah 3azaach.

so do i know them by any chance/

Daddy's Girl

Hey hon how r u ?

bacher irmothan 3ndokom wella il a7ad

imbarak 3leech il shahar o 3asach min 3owadah o intay ib se7a o 3afiya ya rab :*

Ama 3n scenario one... maskeena zain ma yannat wella wegaf galbha min il khar3a... laish chithee y3ni? some people are heartless when it comes to those matters... allah yer7omah insha2 allah o ye'3amed ro7ah il janna o yesaber.hom 3la fragah o 3atham allah ajrech :*

ama 3n scenario two... tra wayed itseer inah they dont tell people about it... it depends on the situation o what people see... two of my husbands relatives died recently with cancer and they didnt know they had it allah yer7am.hom... allah yeshafeha insha2 allah o yegawemha bel salama mako shay b3eed 3n allah

btw 7alkom min 7alna? ilee 3ndena bel q8 bs ya36on il nass panadol!!!!

Standy

Daddy's Girl: hey, i am ok.. thankx for asking, and ramadan kareeem.. yes we are like you, today is our first day =D we are fasting togteher =D


kul 3am o into b5air o inshalalh yn3ad 3aleekum el shahar bi alf 9i7a o salama :*


The woman in case #2 died yesterdays.. allah yer7amha,, i can still see her face and hear her talking to me from when i visted her.. allah ye9abar ahalhum.. and i dont think she knew the whole truth of what she has.. i heard they told her cancer but they didnt say that is was already spead all over and its was hopless..

allah yer7amha...


the rest thank you for your comments and feedback and your thoughts, i am sorry i havent had the time to reply you all.. kul 3am o into b5air o ramdan kareeem..

Love you all

 
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