TINY Kitchen and the HUGE spider

So I was chatting to my American sister Tiny Kitchen and she got all excited and was like “DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MY SPIDER INCIDENT” lool.. Too excited that her words almost popped out of my blackberry lool..

So the story goes something like this:
Tiny Kitchen was all alone at night, watching TV and eating popcorn (as you all know its that time of the year as in HALLOWEEN) poor little HUGE spidy was feeingl all bored and lonely in the bathroom window gazing at the stars feeling left out coz spido (his wife) decided to have a ladies night out..

Bored with the scene already, spidy decided to walk on the bathroom floor and cruise around abit and that is when TINY KITCHEN decided to use the bathroom..

*EE EE EE EE * --> horror movie theme music, you know like a squeaky door or when someone is holding a knife coming right at you loool..

Moving on!

So as she entered the bathroom, spidy got excited coz now he can have some fun.. so as soon as Tiny entered the bathroom spidy jumped on her with his fangs aiming at her shoulder, luckily Tiny saw that attack coming and in a quick defence mode she held him by his 3rd feet from the left side and threw him out the window where unfortunately he was squished by a car the moment he landed on the road!! Tiny managed to saved her self from being the meal of the night to spidy and she was astonished by her bravery.. PRAVA.. I have never been more proud of you sister =)

The only down side of the story is that, when spido came back home and she didn’t find spidy she assumed that he left her for speda (a Spanish cute little spider that lives across the country) and sometimes at night, Tiny swears that she could hear someone singing (all by myself) in her apartment..

THE END!!!


And now, here is the FICTION version of the story written by my sister on what “ACTUALLY” happened that day *rolling my eyes* =p


Ok, so the story is pretty boring in retrospect, but i was obsessed with this literally ALL day yesterday.

so this story requires a little background. for whatever reason my bathroom is an advanced eco-system of cellar spiders and rolly-pollys, plus some other assorted smaller insects and spiders. Occasionally when it's raining out or really hot/humid, a cockroach will wander in. now the most common roach in DC is a palmetto bug, which is pretty dark and beetle like.

Anyway, i wander into my bathroom yesterday morning, still somewhat asleep. i turn my sink on to wash my face and notice what looks like a roach on the floor near my toilet. since i had just woken up, my eyes weren't totally focused yet, so i look over to attempt to squash it when i notice that it is no roach at all but rather a huge dark disgusting spider. the spider then kind of casually crawled under my toilet. UNDER MY TOILET.

now, i'm happy to admit that spiders are not my most favourite of things, though i try really hard to leave them alone since i know they eat stuff that i don't like (hence the huge population of cellar spiders in my apartment). But this.. This was no cellar spider. This (to my barely awake eyes) was a gigantic monstrosity of a spider, almost a grotesque mutant spider. i was so freaked out that i took the fastest shower of my life and got out there. Because i didn't know what to do but felt compelled to do something, i went upstairs and got a glue trap to use in an attempt to catch said spider monster and then left for work.

The whole day i obsessed over what i had seen and spent a disproportionate amount of time researching what it could have possibly been. i told myself i just wanted to make sure it wasn't poisonous, but really, i was just consumed by the sight. Anyway, i figured it had to be a parson spider. which are horrible and ugly looking, and though they bite, they're not deadly. i tried all day to convince myself that was ok and i was a mature enough adult to handle sharing my space with some benign hunting spider. (By the way, i'm totally not mature enough to do that)

so, i got home later that evening and obviously the first thing i did was check my trap. i assumed it would be empty because these spiders are nocturnal. BUT I WAS WRONG. there was something on the trap. Something disgusting. it was a quarter sized reddish spider, stuck to the trap. oh, and guess what? it's fangs were stuck to the trap too. They were huge. HUGE AND DISGUSTING. Anyway, i obviously took photos and covered it with a glass because i didn't want it to escape but i was also too scared to kill it.

After another round of obsessing, i learned that the spider i caught was a sac spider rather than a parson spider. Both are gross. i'm still not totally convinced that the one i caught was the same one i saw in the morning, but whatever. Eventually i smashed the spider and went to bed. Though the spider was dead, i still fell asleep with unsettling feeling of being covered in crawly things.

THE END!!

Link to see more information about spidy (RIP) http://bugguide.net/node/view/26291

Here are some pics of what was once spidy (RIP)